So where has time gone? Thinking through a typical week for me now I’m doing well if I’m home for two evenings a week. That’s mostly due to committing more time to music rehearsals than anything else, which is no bad thing. Certainly, I feel the best way I express myself these days is with my lips attached to a mouthpiece!

Expression, in turn, leads to why this is being typed now. This place was always about me sharing a bit of my mind with the wider web but equally with a close group of friends. That was easy back in my Uni days (something I do miss) but now I’m a bit more mindful, wary even of saying the wrong thing or providing the wrong impression. I suppose this could be called ‘growing-up’ or accepting that I have more responsibilities now than then?

However, I also wanted this place to be something of a reflection on me that in the future I and others could read back as a diary and understand me that little bit more. As such, I intend to make use of this blog again and leave my little mark on the WWW. In fact, my intentions are so strong I’ve even pinned the WordPress Dashboard as an ‘App Tab’!

Dan

It’s weird how certain events in life feel like they happened yesterday and yet at the same time have always been, almost like there wasn’t a time before. I’m greatful and thankful that the second half of that sentence doesn’t apply for my time with Sarah, that I know and remember well our time together.

On the other hand married life feels like it has always been. Even though I know things have changed in countless ways since Kita and I first got together at the same time it feels like our marriage has always been, long established before our wedding day.

It’s odd how it feels like yesterday that Ben and I were both pretty much living in my Uni dorm and yet now we’re both preparing for life away from Uni and that time of living together has passed. Uni life appears to have shot by in the blink of an eye and yet in that blink of an eye it has shaped me in more ways than I probably know. I certainly wouldn’t be where I am now (at work) without that time behind me!

What to write though? Sadly those posts that had been semi-formed in my mind have long since departed and thinking about it now I can’t recall their contents at all. Ho hum!

Perhaps a good way to ‘restart’ this blog then is trying to explain why the barren spell occurred and, perhaps more importantly, why it has come to an end. It’s really quite simple.

My last post coincided with the start of my final academic year and in that first week I started to loathe IT. Looking back it wasn’t IT I was disenchanted with but Uni. Truth is I’ve had to be dragged kicking and screaming through the last 6 months by some very good friends. Why though? Why should the last 6 months have felt so much harder?

The workload certainly increased but that wasn’t the problem. No, the problem was motivation. Whilst my time at HP wasn’t the greatest the months between my placement ending and my wedding were. I’d found myself in a job that was both challenging and rewarding. Perhaps most importantly I felt like I was  meant to be there and the work I was doing had value to it. And that was the problem with my Uni work; it was a means to an end.

Sure it has value; it gets me a degree but for me work needs to be more. It has to effect others, hopefully in a positive way, that I can thrive on. Uni work doesn’t have this element. It feels cold with little purpose, other than to get a degree! Which, as a type this, is of course all it is!

I am  a firm believer in the mantra that ‘no one cares about IT because it works’ or however it goes. That’s what I strive for in my career. My reward is the satisfaction of knowing that everyone else has the tools at their disposal to complete their job to the best of their ability and that my job doesn’t get in their way. Uni work never satisfied this, how could it?

How could a piece of coursework on ‘Investigating the use of Pan, Tilt and Zoom Remote IP CCTV Cameras over WAN connections’ or some Java programming ever satisfy? But then why should this stop my blogging? Simply because it felt like every time I sat down at a keyboard the work I was producing was pointless and that in turn led to me trying to minimize the time I spent bashing keys.

Now though, as I sit here bashing keys with a pint of Tangle Foot, my outlook on IT feels a lot rosier. My work has purpose and I no longer feel frustration when things aren’t going well (IT wise). No, these frustrations are now challenges and overcoming challenges is rewarding.

The work? My final year project.

Admittedly its for the same company that I worked for between HP and my wedding; Chris Lewis Fire & Security. However, I don’t think it’s the company that’s important, it’s the work.

I’ll try and keep this blog up to date again, I certainly feel motivated to. Apologies if it becomes quite final year project orientated and sorry again for the lean 6 months.

Dan

The video doesn’t quite do the show justice but still thought I’d share it and remember it.

Dan

Friday evening Ben, Kita, Mum (thanks Mum) and I set about cleaning our old house, working pretty much straight through the evening with all manner of cloth and chemical. Come about 11pm the old house was in a pretty good state. Clean, tidy and ready to be given back.

Saturday morning Ben and I went in the house about 9am and the first thing I said was “Where’s the post?” shortly followed by “Why’s the bed been pulled out?”. From that moment on I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach it wasn’t going to be quite as good a day as the glorious sunshine would suggest it should be.

We’d arranged for the landlady to go through the checking out process at 10am and sure enough she was there promptly on time. The first thing she produced was a letter addressed to the occupier of our Reading place from Thames Water. She thought it was evidence we’d not paid the water bill. In truth it’s a fairly harmless letter, just asking for the new occupier to set-up a new account as I’d cancelled ours. I know, I’d opened it a couple of days ago and left it in the house for the new tenants.

A part of me wishes I’d been a lot less tired and a bit sharper witted. Our landlady had been in our property after we’d left Friday night and picked up the post. That’s a breach of contract, entering the property without our consent whilst we still held the tenancy. If I’d have been more awake and a little quicker I suspect none of what followed would have happened. Alas, it’s a lesson learnt.

She basically complained about the state of cleanliness of the property throughout. In fact I think the only thing she was happy with was the hob which was shining…… as was most of the house. Many hours passed and many comments were made and ultimately Ben and I somewhat gave in on some points which means we’re losing a significant chunk of our deposit. On reflection we could have been a lot tougher, heck based on the previous paragraph we could have been very tough indeed.

In all honesty though my heart wasn’t in it. At the moment there are just too many more important things going on in my life that fighting for some money pails in comparison. Another time and  I suspect I’d have tried a lot harder, or more to the point taken something of a gamble. You see a big part of our problem was our letting agents.

The reason, the only real reason Ben and I negotiated with the landlady direct was because we both felt it would have been a far bigger, messier fight with the agents. Honestly as I type this I’m sure the agents would have gone for more like 85% of our deposit and we’d be fighting tooth and nail over it for the next 6 months. In my final year of uni and getting married in a few months I just didn’t fancy that over my head. If you’re looking to move to Reading drop me a message and I’ll tell you who to avoid!

There were so many silly little details on Saturday that I could write a book on them. It wouldn’t do anyone much good apart from this, my intentions to own the roof over my head have never been stronger.

So Saturday was a write off, I was exhausted mentally and physically and didn’t fancy moving any more boxes into Portsmouth that evening. Sunday though was a success. After a much needed lazy start to the day we went down to our flat in Southsea and moved the final car loads of stuff in and began living there.

We unboxed a bit, got the TV kind of working and made the bed. Thankfully though we both felt like a walk and so we strolled along the beach, laughing and enjoying one another’s company like we haven’t in quite a long time. It was a really great walk, probably the most romantic thing we’ve done since Sorrento last summer.

That would have been a good way to finish the weekend but it got better. As we were aimlessly wondering around we came across quite a crowd. Not really knowing what was going on (apart from a big boat on the grass) we stuck around and to our delight a fantastic firework show took place marking the end of Portsmouth’s Festivities, celebrating 500 years since the ascension of Henry VIII.

So a great way to end a very stressful weekend.

Dan

The flat’s pretty much as we’d been promised (just waiting on a shower to be fitted at the moment) and everything seems to have gone smoothly. I’ll be honest I was expecting something to go wrong or to cost us more than I’d originally thought.

Now it’s just a case of moving out of Reading and cleaning Centurion Close. I’ve boxed a fair bit of the house already and so this evening I’ll be loading the first van full. All being well the majority of our stuff will be in our new flat by the end of the weekend.

Dan

It’s still a two bed but this place has a larger lounge, a kind of odd walk in larder cupboard and its still pretty close to the beach. The whole flat complex is being renovated and the flat we’ve got has had a really nice refurb job, new carpets, new lino etc. When we viewed it last Friday it was still having the final touches painted!

Of course I’m/we’re still a little wary after how badly handled the last flat was (a blog post that should have happened) but so far, fingers crossed, things seem to be going well.

The plan is still the same, ‘move in’ on the 15th or possibly the 17th June then the weekend of the 20th/21st move everything out of Reading. Sadly Kita can’t get that weekend off work at all so any hands to help are greatly appreciated!

Dan

I am blessed though, truly blessed with a wonderful fiancée who has given me the space I need to think things through and hold me when I need holding. Blessed with wonderful friends and family who are there for me and help as best as they can in these circumstances.

I’m also thankful for being able to take time out for the first time in 4 years. No exams to worry about or coursework to finish and so I can be still and reflect.

Having said that there are worries and concerns. Our flat in Southsea has fallen through and so we’re off down to Portsmouth tomorrow. Whilst I like the city and its nice to be there doesn’t exactly tie in with how I saw this long weekend break going when I first booked the time off.

Oh well, one year just maybe I’ll be able to be quiet and still but then perhaps its a blessing in disguise that at the moment I can’t be.

4 years on and yeah, these words aren’t the right ones either.

Dan

Yesterday Kita put down the holding deposit on our flat in Southsea and as I’m sure you’ve read her job has all been sorted as well The flat we’ve got is the one we wanted, mercifully no one else went for it whilst we were waiting to hear about Kita’s job.

It’s a little bit quirky as a place but it is a good size, has a second bedroom which will make an ideal study and a terrace garden. I say qwerky but that’s not the right word, perfect? Well it’s pretty close. The kitchen is a little small for my liking but meh, it’s a tiny thing not even a niggle and for the rent we’ll be paying, honestly I don’t think we could have dreamed for anything better.

I’m looking forward to having a study for the first time and a decent sized desk in a fairly long while as well. I’m looking forward to having separate places to sleep, relax and work. Since going to Uni, that being the first time I’ve done much work away from school it’s always felt a little odd sleeping in the same room as all my computer bits and pieces. Of course in my first year of Uni it was worse then that as you try and cram in all your entertainment into the same room as well. Now though I’m looking forward to having room to spread out somewhat, to having those separate rooms for work and play. There’s something almost feng shui about it!

We’re also going to have a two week overlap renting wise between Southsea and Reading to make life a little easier, so no need to put stuff in storage etc.  We get the keys (references pending) on the 15th June and then the plan is to pretty much move in over the weekend of the 20th/21st. Friends on the Isle of Wight, free?

Between now and then I guess it’s a case of starting to box things up again and deep cleaning the house in Reading.

Man does it feel good that things have fallen into place.

Dan

Numb kind of, like I can’t quite decide how I should feel. Life’s busy and very exciting at the moment but at the same time there’s a part  of me that feels like I shouldn’t be too happy. Like I ought to be on the brakes a little, certainly over this month.

Does that make any sense?

This time last year I was something of a  blubbering wreck, not exactly ideal coming into an exam season! The year before, for some reason I don’t remember being too bad but this year, I don’t know.

It’s all starting to feel like a distant memory, like the pain and guilt I feel are fading and in my head that all feels rather wrong. In my mind I think that I should still hurt but my heart is in the moment and looking forwards.

Sorry this is somewhat self-serving but I’ve always wanted this blog to be a fairly true reflection of me and so it is what it is.

Dan