My last post back in May of last year was about how time, to me at least, is a most curios thing and how it can be perceived at different speeds depending upon the activity. Well given that around 16 months have passed since that post and this I think its fair to say that time has been hard to come by as well. Time of course is not the only reason this place has been so sparse but it has contributed enough to warrant note. That, and it linked nicely (ish!) to my last post!
So where has time gone? Thinking through a typical week for me now I’m doing well if I’m home for two evenings a week. That’s mostly due to committing more time to music rehearsals than anything else, which is no bad thing. Certainly, I feel the best way I express myself these days is with my lips attached to a mouthpiece!
Expression, in turn, leads to why this is being typed now. This place was always about me sharing a bit of my mind with the wider web but equally with a close group of friends. That was easy back in my Uni days (something I do miss) but now I’m a bit more mindful, wary even of saying the wrong thing or providing the wrong impression. I suppose this could be called ‘growing-up’ or accepting that I have more responsibilities now than then?
However, I also wanted this place to be something of a reflection on me that in the future I and others could read back as a diary and understand me that little bit more. As such, I intend to make use of this blog again and leave my little mark on the WWW. In fact, my intentions are so strong I’ve even pinned the WordPress Dashboard as an ‘App Tab’!
It’s a curious thing. As I sit here now at work it feels like it’ll take forever for a whole bunch of files to copy from server A to server B and yet as I was stood at Sarah’s grave yesterday 5 years felt like it had gone by in 5 minutes.
It’s weird how certain events in life feel like they happened yesterday and yet at the same time have always been, almost like there wasn’t a time before. I’m greatful and thankful that the second half of that sentence doesn’t apply for my time with Sarah, that I know and remember well our time together.
On the other hand married life feels like it has always been. Even though I know things have changed in countless ways since Kita and I first got together at the same time it feels like our marriage has always been, long established before our wedding day.
It’s odd how it feels like yesterday that Ben and I were both pretty much living in my Uni dorm and yet now we’re both preparing for life away from Uni and that time of living together has passed. Uni life appears to have shot by in the blink of an eye and yet in that blink of an eye it has shaped me in more ways than I probably know. I certainly wouldn’t be where I am now (at work) without that time behind me!
By my calculations I’m getting close to being 6 months overdue on those blog posts that were swirling around in my head at the end of September last year…oops! And sorry!
What to write though? Sadly those posts that had been semi-formed in my mind have long since departed and thinking about it now I can’t recall their contents at all. Ho hum!
Perhaps a good way to ‘restart’ this blog then is trying to explain why the barren spell occurred and, perhaps more importantly, why it has come to an end. It’s really quite simple.
My last post coincided with the start of my final academic year and in that first week I started to loathe IT. Looking back it wasn’t IT I was disenchanted with but Uni. Truth is I’ve had to be dragged kicking and screaming through the last 6 months by some very good friends. Why though? Why should the last 6 months have felt so much harder?
The workload certainly increased but that wasn’t the problem. No, the problem was motivation. Whilst my time at HP wasn’t the greatest the months between my placement ending and my wedding were. I’d found myself in a job that was both challenging and rewarding. Perhaps most importantly I felt like I was meant to be there and the work I was doing had value to it. And that was the problem with my Uni work; it was a means to an end.
Sure it has value; it gets me a degree but for me work needs to be more. It has to effect others, hopefully in a positive way, that I can thrive on. Uni work doesn’t have this element. It feels cold with little purpose, other than to get a degree! Which, as a type this, is of course all it is!
I am a firm believer in the mantra that ‘no one cares about IT because it works’ or however it goes. That’s what I strive for in my career. My reward is the satisfaction of knowing that everyone else has the tools at their disposal to complete their job to the best of their ability and that my job doesn’t get in their way. Uni work never satisfied this, how could it?
How could a piece of coursework on ‘Investigating the use of Pan, Tilt and Zoom Remote IP CCTV Cameras over WAN connections’ or some Java programming ever satisfy? But then why should this stop my blogging? Simply because it felt like every time I sat down at a keyboard the work I was producing was pointless and that in turn led to me trying to minimize the time I spent bashing keys.
Now though, as I sit here bashing keys with a pint of Tangle Foot, my outlook on IT feels a lot rosier. My work has purpose and I no longer feel frustration when things aren’t going well (IT wise). No, these frustrations are now challenges and overcoming challenges is rewarding.
The work? My final year project.
Admittedly its for the same company that I worked for between HP and my wedding; Chris Lewis Fire & Security. However, I don’t think it’s the company that’s important, it’s the work.
I’ll try and keep this blog up to date again, I certainly feel motivated to. Apologies if it becomes quite final year project orientated and sorry again for the lean 6 months.
Just a quick note to all in the blogosphere that the photos from our wedding are online now for your viewing pleasure. Hopefully you all know our surname as you’ll need it to get into the gallery.
I’ve a couple of decent sized blog posts in my head that I think I’ll write up near the end of this week, once we’ve moved some more into our marital home and I’ve had a chance to set-up my desktop. Whilst I really like my diddy 9″ netbook/hackintosh toy it’s really more for digesting and consuming the digital age rather than contributing to it, if that makes sense?
Sorry this blog has been oddly quiet, it’s been very busy and I’ll do a proper catch-up in a couple of days but I thought it important to get this post in, to mark the day in cyberspace as well.
What can I say?
I’m ridiculously excited and yet my stomachs doing laps as well. There’s three things I’m dreading and it’s not going to take a genius to guess them. Dreading that I’ll muck them up.
Other than that though I’ve the feeling in me like I’m 7 again and it’s Christmas morning. Hopefully that sentence sums it up, I’m sooo excited, I can’t wait to come out the Church with Mrs Hadland holding my hand.
That’s all I’ve time for really. Time to shower and shave. See you on the other side.